Found out that I was getting laid off... went drinking at a friend's house... went to Knott's hungover breathing in ashes and smoke... watched firefighters try to defend dad's home on TV... couldn't sleep... prayed... didn't eat... saw on the news that dad's house made it... actually got laid off... starting over...
Feeling liberated. I went from my absolute lowest on Saturday night to this amazing clarity that I feel right now. I have this fantastic chance to start fresh again. It's odd to say it, but I crave change. I am so unsatisfied with the regularity of life that I constantly have to do something new. This time it was not by choice, but I can handle it and I will make the best of it. I have a lot of amazing people supporting, encouraging and offering help. Thanks to everyone for your kind words.
oh, did you notice that I prayed? yea, that caught me off guard too, but it felt right. I can't tell you who or what exactly I was praying to, but damnit, it seemed to work. Dad's home was saved.
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